Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (2791)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48206) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65114) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

#11640890
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/03/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by Sapphirlinda (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (2791)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46618) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

#10520303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (2789)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by fothermuckerrr - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: