Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47436) - you deserved it (3354)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

#21300434
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34518) - you deserved it (3353)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (3353)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

#15632793
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (3353)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:15am - love - by lonely (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my tire blew while I was on the freeway. I had to change the tire in pouring rain while wearing short shorts and flip-flops. No one stopped to help, but several people politely honked as if to remind me of my misfortune. FML

#20062636
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (3353)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by wonder woman (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62371) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26480) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: