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Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47209) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (2950)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41684) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35367) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34752) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (2949)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

#5941980
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by UnluckyTeen (man) - Singapore



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