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Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

by curlyisnogood / 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm / Health

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

by rapturezz / 06/06/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 10:35am / France (Bretagne) / Work

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

by userrrrr / 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

by runner / 11/14/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

by Hayleey_079 / 02/18/2010 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health