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Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42480) - you deserved it (2922)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (2922)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (2921)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35283) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (2921)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38770) - you deserved it (2920)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (2920)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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Friday 24 October 2014

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