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Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 8:00am / United States / Love

Today, four hours before a test, I received an email from my professor saying that the test had been canceled. When I checked my email again before bed, I found another email from my professor saying that his email had been hacked and the test was was still on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 1:32pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

by Dante178 / 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

by yikes / 04/21/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Animals

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

by kelbel89 / 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

by jobless / 07/09/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Money

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

by ScottishLad1 / 09/01/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

by nazooer / 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm / United States / Health

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

by witchybaby89 / 05/25/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.