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Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (3371)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (3371)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (3371)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (3371)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59400) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (3371)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45977) - you deserved it (3370)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (3370)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (3370)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (3369)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (3369)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -



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