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Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (2873)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

#19138227
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:53am - misc - by Whoopsie - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

#18986736
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (2873)

On 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by B (man) - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17751) - you deserved it (2872)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

#11164761
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (2872)

On 06/13/2010 at 5:56am - animals - by spenmy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

#4317825
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73757) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/05/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

#4212428
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43590) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

#14851540
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:33am - kids - by stressedandcrowded (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16508) - you deserved it (2870)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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