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Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55411) - you deserved it (2906)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42911) - you deserved it (2906)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (2906)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47824) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

#20991922
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by MGDS (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2906)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (2905)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States



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