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Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (3194)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (3193)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48901) - you deserved it (3193)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (3193)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35889) - you deserved it (3194)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (3193)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46040) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (3193)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

#14616204
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (3192) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

#17507897
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States



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