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Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46290) - you deserved it (2966)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26108) - you deserved it (2966)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (2966)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (2966)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (2966)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (2965)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (2965)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (2965)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (2965)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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