Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60369) - you deserved it (3128)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (3128)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36422) - you deserved it (3128)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (3128)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59854) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42637) - you deserved it (3127)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

#4974639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43270) - you deserved it (3126)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (3126)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (3126)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: