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Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

#20991922
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by MGDS (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2905)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (2905)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (2903)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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