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Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (2958)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45822) - you deserved it (2957)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88185) - you deserved it (2956)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35133) - you deserved it (2956)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (2955)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

#17355077
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (2956)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by thedancer5 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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