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Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (2927)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54592) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

#2588654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (2925)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:52am - money - by doubledown (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36025) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

#15133250
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (2925)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

#19959059
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm - love - by Mitch (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (2925)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2924)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML



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