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Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (3040)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35267) - you deserved it (3040)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (3039)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48825) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38405) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while we were acting in a play. FML

#16323253
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (3038)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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