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Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Money

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

by firstdategoals / 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

by Kilika / 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

by bdayloser / 11/07/2009 at 12:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

by koletatlow19 / 03/05/2010 at 12:23am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

by - Moved Across the Country / 08/06/2011 at 2:05am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

by msleea / 05/06/2015 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, in the fitting room at Old Navy, a customer asked me if we sold Calvin Klein jeans. I replied "no ma'am, this isn't a department store, we only sell Old Navy jeans." She left, and complained to my manager, who informed me that "the customer is always right." FML

by samantha / 03/03/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML

by nerdwithagun / 12/24/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

by Uhh / 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

by Eddy / 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals