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Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (3032)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

#18105886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (3032)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19250) - you deserved it (3031)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

#17868574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/30/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Cristie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49676) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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