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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42957) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

#21252384
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33882) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

#6761430
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:23am - money - by dJ21 (man) - Guam

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (3151)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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