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Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

#16886494
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by fmylovelife - United States

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43900) - you deserved it (2993)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (2992)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (2992)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



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