Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (3294)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45951) - you deserved it (3294)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (3294)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

#17004757
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37666) - you deserved it (3293)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57081) - you deserved it (3293)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58193) - you deserved it (3293)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3292)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (3292)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (3291)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (3291)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: