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Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

#13263221
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:14pm - love - by no luck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49265) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3326)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51776) - you deserved it (3325)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (3325)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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