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Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3337)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (3337)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (3337)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29907) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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