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Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23313) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

#10918883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Kagura - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (3305)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (3305)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

#17508765
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:11am - misc - by JLO (man) - Australia

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (3304)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (3303)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33924) - you deserved it (3303)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML

#21005745
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (3303)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by detour165 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30444) - you deserved it (3303)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)



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