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Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (3166)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

#1625692
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60783) - you deserved it (3165)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71520) - you deserved it (3165)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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