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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (3194)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

#16053522
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (3194)

On 05/05/2011 at 3:13am - work - by epicsandwichartist (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (3194)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (3194) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46666) - you deserved it (3194)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19) - you deserved it (3194)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (3193)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (3193)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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