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Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

by Josie / 02/21/2011 at 2:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

by svenska75 / 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm / Health

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

by ADT / 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

by Uhh / 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

by AnDroidZ_BabY / 09/11/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

by Noname / 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

by farrahfarrest_ / 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

by bdayloser / 11/07/2009 at 12:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

by mmvv / 02/08/2010 at 12:41am / United States / Love