Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML

#16375097
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (2871)

On 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (2871)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (2871)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2870)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48364) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

#14851540
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:33am - kids - by stressedandcrowded (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

#18959859
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/31/2012 at 9:41am - love - by Random (woman) - United States

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: