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Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (3337)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47866) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40150) - you deserved it (3336)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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