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Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (3092)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML

#10983443
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/05/2010 at 6:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (3092)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (3092)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (3092)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (3091)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (3091)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (3091)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

#12682648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/22/2010 at 1:02pm - love - by mollyeyers - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

#19661791
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (3091)

On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35376) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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