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Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (2943)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (2943)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (2942)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (2942)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML

#15504213
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (2942)

On 03/26/2011 at 9:28pm - money - by fml - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (2942)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (2942)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (2942)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States



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