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Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (3184)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (3184)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

#20546477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (3184)

On 03/16/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Dat Stanky Mouf (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

#20823652
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50609) - you deserved it (3184)

On 08/06/2013 at 10:44am - work - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (3185)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3183)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41575) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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