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Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

#12913788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (3255)

On 09/05/2010 at 4:14am - love - by ohmydog (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

#17950991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/10/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44312) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (3254)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (3254)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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