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Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (3183)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64426) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17844) - you deserved it (3182)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (3182)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (3182)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43087) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48795) - you deserved it (3181)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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