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Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57465) - you deserved it (3695)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

#21043493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45054) - you deserved it (3695)

On 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm - work - by smileydays - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45771) - you deserved it (3695)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (3695)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

#21482755
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:57pm - kids - by thanks sis - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48211) - you deserved it (3694)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54484) - you deserved it (3694) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (3694)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML



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