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Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

#19131247
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (2484)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36315) - you deserved it (2483)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15003) - you deserved it (2482)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (2482)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)



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