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Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48897) - you deserved it (3135)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

#8916498
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (3134)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by sleepy2010 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

#18201321
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (3134)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

#4278303
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35894) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by CzechMeOut (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

#17004757
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (3133)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

#20531557
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (3133)

On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (3132)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been "single" on numerous occasions during our 9 month relationship. FML

#18029239
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/20/2011 at 2:56am - intimacy - by SpikeStanley - United States



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