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Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML

#8852527
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

#14552132
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (3398)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38038) - you deserved it (3396)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (3396)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (3396)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)



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