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Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34984) - you deserved it (3005)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31777) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (3004)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (3004)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71360) - you deserved it (3003)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60957) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)



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