Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

#1381561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (3061)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (3060)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (3060)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: