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Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

#3924296
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45402) - you deserved it (3013)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (3013)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30495) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21996) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64569) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (3012)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

#5194159
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (3012)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (3012)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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