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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33975) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

#14742735
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (3055)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45177) - you deserved it (3054)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63596) - you deserved it (3054)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21748) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41412) - you deserved it (3054)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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