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Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60678) - you deserved it (2980)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (2980)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (2980)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (2980)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17939) - you deserved it (2980)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (2980)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39553) - you deserved it (2980)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64775) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50411) - you deserved it (2979)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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