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Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (3121)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

#15702411
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:02am - love - by WhatTheBleep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (3121)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (3121)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61843) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31620) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47086) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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