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Today,hile Waiting For The Start Of A Concert, The Man Behind Me Decided To Pee Into A Cup. Then The Cup Tipped Over And Drained All Down My Leg. FML

yesterday my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3368)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you r in the cage, an the monkeys r climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up an one of the monkeys urinated all over mah face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way 4 me to shower 4 six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43421) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, aftar a nap, I want to scratch mah aya and falthat I prasumad to ba a clump of mascara on mah ayalash !! I didn't waar mascara today !! It was a tick !! FML

#2213407
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54098) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today , while cleaning up , I dropped a box of thumbtacks , spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up , the power went out. FML

#5589145
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I looool fell down a set of stairshile going into mah basement. With a horrible pain in mah left leg, I calld out to mah boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (3366)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

today I got caught trying to steal mah own cat back from mah neighbor. FML

#17423512
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (3366)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

2day mah girlfriend compard mah penis to a snake. Not cuz of the size or shape, but cuz a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3366)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today..!! I was snuggld in bd with mah husband!! He thought cuz mah butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky!! So he slappd mah ass hard in attempt to get something going!! I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart cuz last night I had diarrhea!! Apparently I still have it!! FML

#7084392
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (3365)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people usd to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were inventd. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37268) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, mah boss is still refusing to hre any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (3365)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... wilst laying in bed wit my girlfriend... se received a flirty message from er ex on er pone asking if se wanted to go to te cinema. Se replied... knowing I could see te screen. Te messages were signed wit a love eart and about 15 kisses. Se claims tey are still just friends. FML

#21362430
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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