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Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45070) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (3129)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26171) - you deserved it (3129)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3129)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (3129)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53012) - you deserved it (3129)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48511) - you deserved it (3129)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

#20932049
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:05am - kids - by he's still not convinced (woman) - United States

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43823) - you deserved it (3129)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3128)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31108) - you deserved it (3128)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States



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