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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (1547)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (1547)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

#19954412
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (1546)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Darlington)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (1546)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (1546)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (1545)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

#18528339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (1545)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15100) - you deserved it (1545)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17702) - you deserved it (1545)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16439) - you deserved it (1544)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

#4856467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (1544)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)



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