Health, Weird, Awkward and Farts: Like a scene from a bad movie

Like a scene from a bad movie

By BWWsux - 27/08/2022 06:00

Today, I learned to never eat chicken wings, loaded mashed potatoes with sour cream, cheese, bacon, ranch, and bubbly soda prior to a esthetician appointment. I had uncontrollable gas and made the most foul smelling farts in her face while she was trying to wax my butthole. I was asked to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 2 171

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Same thing different taste

Food for thought

By snowiewind - 01/10/2022 10:59 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I had a bacterial infection in my intestines. Doctors suggested I wash my intestines, but apparently forgot to tell me I couldn't eat before the procedure. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the whole room right now smells like rancid fried chicken, or the fact that the doctors were just talking about going to Popeyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 242

Fingerlickin' good

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 04:22 - United States - Lewisville

Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 231

You deserved it 1 753

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 205

Great ad for Waffle House

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 00:02

Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 172

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 476

You deserved it 5 198

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 162

You deserved it 4 740

Hyperviolence

By julieseattle - 28/10/2019 18:00

Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 327

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 460

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 154

By NotALady - 15/12/2016 22:20

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 404

You deserved it 1 649

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Saturday 27 August 2022 8:36

This was surely more of a FML for her.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 August 2022 13:34

I've heard that the biggest problem with jobs in the service industry is having to deal with assholes, butt this is ridiculous!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 August 2022 8:17

Did she cork you up before you left?

Plop 17

Saturday 27 August 2022 12:36

Wait, is that what buttplugs are for?

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Saturday 27 August 2022 8:36

This was surely more of a FML for her.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 August 2022 13:34

I've heard that the biggest problem with jobs in the service industry is having to deal with assholes, butt this is ridiculous!

ejfs 8

Saturday 27 August 2022 16:47

Based on how the gut works, that gas was created between 10 and 24 hours before the appointment, so I'm afraid you'll have to blame a different meal.

1known 30

Saturday 27 August 2022 17:40

Were bacon, ranch and soda truly necessary?

Yudith 24

Saturday 27 August 2022 18:21

That's a ridiculous question, knowing that the gas was probably created between 10 to 24 days before by OP's kale salad, kombucha or chia breakfast pudding.