Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49012) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55586) - you deserved it (3228)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51902) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (3227)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28934) - you deserved it (3227)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (3227)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3227)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52716) - you deserved it (3227)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40444) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: