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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (3139)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (3139)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (3138)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49144) - you deserved it (3138)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37358) - you deserved it (3137)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (3136)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

#14616202
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (3136) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

#15221158
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

#6761430
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:23am - money - by dJ21 (man) - Guam



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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