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Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46927) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (3315)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44230) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34824) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

#20697100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39446) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

#4650437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (3313)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

#13464373
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (3312)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (3312)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (3312)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States



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