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Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (3231)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

#6660369
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (3230)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67372) - you deserved it (3228)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32276) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

#18147280
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36709) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by bethany - Australia

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (3228)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49012) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)



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