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Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (3350)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (3350)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (3350)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38283) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

#14325917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34765) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

#17867072
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53657) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

#6792843
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by gotthewrongman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)



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