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Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

#4391923
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50096) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (3062)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (3062)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

#19887553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (3062)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59437) - you deserved it (3061)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (3061)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (3061)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States



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