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Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

#21031848
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (3636)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47141) - you deserved it (3636)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (3635)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (3635)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (3635)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

#17826099
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (3635)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49543) - you deserved it (3635)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33391) - you deserved it (3635)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML

#5790955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (3635)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in the subway, a man ran up to me, grabbed me, and starting hugging me. He wouldn't stop hugging me, and his grip was too tight. I don't know what's worst, basically being harassed, or not being able to remember the last time I was hugged. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

#21313490
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (3634)

On 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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