Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (3499)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that in conclusion to working five nights in a row, I'm scheduled to work the night shift on Valentine's day with my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (3499)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

#13600670
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

#14391490
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you deserved it (3498)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:48am - work - by ronniewciv -

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (3498)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (3498)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (3497)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

#13262261
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (3497)

On 09/30/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Ugh-Lee - United States

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: