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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (3527)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44840) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (3526)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (3526)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML

#4071557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43279) - you deserved it (3525)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

#9647002
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (3525)

On 04/05/2010 at 6:14am - misc - by blah. - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

#14560893
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (3525)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (3524)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72917) - you deserved it (3523)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59918) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)



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