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Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (3145)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (3144)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

#15632793
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34012) - you deserved it (3144)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:15am - love - by lonely (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49878) - you deserved it (3144)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

#20865605
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (3144)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (3143)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32214) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

#16757277
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (3142)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)



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