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Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (3088)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

#3859310
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39134) - you deserved it (3087)

On 07/18/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by startingover (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61841) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (3087)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

#19061872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (3087)

On 02/12/2012 at 11:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)



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