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Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (3549)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (3549)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

#13805419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (3549)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (3549)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

#17826099
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (3548)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (3548)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (3548)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56214) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45999) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (3546)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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