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Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (3520)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52775) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (3519)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

#6969552
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DroopyDog (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37156) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (3519)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3519)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

#20764102
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (3519)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by uvagirl - United States

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37120) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version



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