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Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57922) - you deserved it (3254)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (3254)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (3255)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (3254)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

#21129038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (3254)

On 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm - misc - by nopleasestopmother (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML

#3341978
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (3253)

On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72500) - you deserved it (3253)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (3253)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56983) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47657) - you deserved it (3253)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States



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