Miscellaneous: Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because...

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 4 833

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 219

You deserved it 1 474

Chill out, Mom

By poor girl - 27/06/2020 05:03

Today, my mom came over for dinner. She lost her mind, screaming and yelling, because my oven melted the dollar store cooking dish that she insisted on using. Never mind the fact I’m going to have to pay a couple hundred, if not a thousand dollars for a new stove. Oh no, she’s out a whole buck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 126

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 872

You deserved it 3 323

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 124

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 680

You deserved it 6 200

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 117

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 124

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 7 608

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 728

You deserved it 2 429

Fire hazard

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 570

You deserved it 4 129

badgrandpa 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed

eternal_malaise 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:25

Give her a list of your favorite baked foods that are known to repel demons.

Comments

badgrandpa 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed

greeneyebeauty9 28

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:30

Yeah, not a good idea. Seeing how crazy the mom is, who knows what'd she do to someone who she thought was possessed.

junkman6 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:13

#2 this woman thinks because she sucks at cooking and lights everything on fire the oven is possessed. She's likely to drive a stake through her child's heart if he pretends to be possessed. Not going to lie I would love to hear a news anchor try to tell this story with a straight face.

pizzzah 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:25

that is really bizzare and psycho of your mum but I don't think you should call her an idiot. she is still your mum

cocainewhore 30

Sunday 16 February 2014 10:54

#69 just because she is OPs mum, doesn't mean she isn't an idiot though. OP can say what they like, and the mum kind of is an idiot for thinking the oven is possessed.

SmilerVamp 6

Sunday 16 February 2014 13:40

I don't think she is an actual idiot. If you read the FML properly you would know that mom of OP is psychotic. That's actually a mental disease. During psychotic episodes she can see and hear all kinds of crap. OP is actually lucky she only thinks the oven is possessed....

pandaxlove64 12

Sunday 16 February 2014 17:23

Anyone can be an idiot. Just because it's someone's parent doesn't make them any less of one

cocainewhore 30

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:59

#85 I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, and can honestly say I have never thought that an oven was possessed. If this was the case with OPs mother then I'd assume it would be mentioned, rather than referring to her as an idiot, but I'm sorry if I came across as rude.

DrippingSarcasm 20

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

Beware the oven-demons!

Isandri 29

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:55

You may laugh, but in fact OP's mother should se psychiatrist, such behaviour may be schizofrenic, it's nothing to laugh about. Op take care of your mather instead of being mad at her!