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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52479) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (6379)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (36122)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47334) - you deserved it (4916)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36092) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (9568)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (2759)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49754) - you deserved it (3252)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (51621)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (15405)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -



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