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Monday 17 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54994) - you deserved it (5269)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60833) - you deserved it (8978)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (9053)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (6799)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42885) - you deserved it (6422)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58036) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (14245)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57288) - you deserved it (16192)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46505) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
122 comments

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47673) - you deserved it (19453)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)



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