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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (5814)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (5140)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49154) - you deserved it (3753)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (4588)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47101) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54454) - you deserved it (5012)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15478) - you deserved it (52680)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39574) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52908) - you deserved it (3068)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17498) - you deserved it (62478)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (15665)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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