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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday I was walking my dog . A cute guy stopped me and said, ( Wow, you are gorgeous! ) I said tanks . He looked at me lyk I was nuts and said, ( Not you, your dog . ) FML

#20621620
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (5549)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deletd all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it . She believd him and I got groundd, much to his amusement . I've never lookd up porn on that computer in my life . FML

#20623130
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40125) - you deserved it (2705)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (3045)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

TODAY, MY PARENTS DECIDD TO WAKE ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY. THEY FLASHD THE LIGHTS AND YANKD OFF MY BD SHEETS. I SLEEP NAKD. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (10618)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread!! No one will tell me wat was said, cuz I apparently "know full well" wat I did!! FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49956) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. Tha only parson who ramambard was tha craapy guy in my English class who kaaps trying to small my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51675) - you deserved it (3980)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom . The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall . The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there . I stayed quiet . He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom . FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (58346)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today , mah future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." fat FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40747) - you deserved it (3881)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

today I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bd . FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59552) - you deserved it (4437)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale , he stops just to snicker an say , "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5116)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I was yelled at an called a pedophile by a mom fir talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library an she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. big fat FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah former fiancée, who I stopped seieng 5 months ago, married another guy . She wore the dress that I'd purchased 4 our would-be wedding . FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56750) - you deserved it (5243)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl an ask her about it. The girl denied it an said she looool didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me , called me a liar an punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (57918)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States



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