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Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39491) - you deserved it (2577)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (6368)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48802) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (14878)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50583) - you deserved it (4119)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (14013)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45235) - you deserved it (20463)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (5362)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (54664)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (31232)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (2635)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)



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