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Friday 22 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35458) - you deserved it (2642)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (11733)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8053) - you deserved it (83170)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43737) - you deserved it (6096)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49191) - you deserved it (11543)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (5467)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44857) - you deserved it (23141)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49040) - you deserved it (6491)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (18693)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (3281)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (4166)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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