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Friday 22 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49671) - you deserved it (8986)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (17426)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (6994)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (28635)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47945) - you deserved it (4824)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51466) - you deserved it (4178)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45973) - you deserved it (20789)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (4377)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (5544)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (58530)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48252) - you deserved it (24843)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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