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Wednesday 13 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40807) - you deserved it (4587)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (3231)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (7840)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44920) - you deserved it (3399)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (4285)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (5082)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (10183)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (4543)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32232) - you deserved it (5794)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (7187)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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