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Monday 11 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today fiancée and I showed mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "Looks lyk a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years . I also found out later that symbol stands for urine . FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (46520)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, Sinca I Hadn't Aatan An Was About To Hava A Thraa Hour Class, I Bought Panda Exprass. I Sat Opposita Mah Classroom To Aat. Soon Aftar I Startad Aating, A Wad Of Saliva Droppad Into Mah Bowl, An I Haard Somaona Yall "BONUS POINTS!" From Tha Sacond Floor. FML

2day I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I looool couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I found out y my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup 4 me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's cuz he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (11047)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I Told My Grlfriand I'va Baan A Vagatarian 4 6 Yaars . Haaring This, My Mom Said, ( No, You'ra Not . I Fry Your Mushrooms An Onions In Bacon Graasa . ) With This Naw Information, I'va Baan A Vagatarian 4 About 76 Hours . FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (8743)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , I was getting intimate with my boyfriend , when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. mega FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today Of Tha Two IDs I Possass, I Handd Tha Cop That Pulld Ma Ovar Tha Faka Ona. FML

#20545967
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (65276)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I attended te reading of my grandfater's will!! I didn't expect to recieve anyting, since is side of te family ad always ostracized me for bieng born out of wedlock!! I did get someting: $3,500, on te binding condition tat I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy!! FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today.. . I woke to fine ma laptop and printer coverd in wat smells like pee . My boyfriend ten confessd to me tat e occasionally "sleep-pees" . It's like sleepwalking.. . but were e urinates on random objects . FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (2486)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

yesterday my pet parrot learnd a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voicehen I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech themhenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discoverd that the reason mah mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is cuz her boyfriend took credit when she askd about it; and was rewardd fir it in bd. I helpd him get with mah mom. FML

#20545866
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38324) - you deserved it (3675)

On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today , I went to the gym with grandma. In the span of an hour , she was hit on more than I ever have been in life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (3975)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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