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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (7369)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

#20536129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (8800)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (6910)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34514) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (22824)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (5152)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (3604)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

#20534670
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37707) - you deserved it (2409)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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