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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WAS FIRED FROM MY JOB 4 BREAKING MY COMPANY'S TATTOO POLICY. I HAVE A SMALL SCAR ON MY WRIST THAT ROUGHLY RESEMBLES A HEART. MY BOSS INSISTS THAT IT'S ONE OF THOSE WHITE INK TATTOOS. NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (2274)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to confess mah feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later an said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (7367)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I showed mah wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health . She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn . FML

#20536129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (8796)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I cummed home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on mah desk with a note from mah roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of mah roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (3270)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, ma boyfriend of tree years told me e was tinking about us taking a break. After an our of crying and im saying it would be okay, I accepted it. Wen I asked wen te break would start, e replied, "Wat are u talking about? I only said I'd tougt about it" and ten lauged. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (6901)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Taday I heard from mah dad 4 the frst time in over six months. It was through Facebook in a message blaming mah brothers and me 4 his horrible life and in which he spelled mah name wrong. FML

#20521678
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today,hila I was studying 4 an axam, youngar sistar cummad homa axtramaly drunk and thraw up all ovar harsalf and har bad. I latar got groundad 4 not satting a battar axampla. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, girlfriend broke up with me cuz she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange . This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months . mega FML

#20521313
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Yesterday I realizd tat te omeless people I give cange to all dress better tan I do including te one tat doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (22815)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today , I found out that the man I just marrid doesn't want to have children . We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting marrid , but now he would ( rather die ) than have children , because according to him , they would ruin his life . real FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (5152)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

TODAY, I WOKE UP TO FINE THAT MAH PARENT HAD REPLACD MAH REGULAR ALARM CLOCK WITH A WALKING ONE THAT REQUIRE YOU TO GET UP AND FINE IT . THE ALARM WAS SET TO 5:00AM,HICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF IT WASN'T THE WEEKEND . FML

#20530545
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3453)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl!! Who was the only personho cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for!! FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss yelled at me fir visiting Facebook on my work computer . He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on . I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job . FML

#20534670
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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