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Wednesday 20 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (5016)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (4217)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20607) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (5394)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (5855)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (4696)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (2177)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (2863)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (3043)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (3249)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29190) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (44588)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (5160)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)



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