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Today, usband and I were fooling around in te sower . For some reason, I tougt it'd be a good idea to grab is man meat and sow im ow to was someone at a nursing ome . He said e'd never be turnd on by a nurse again . I'm a nurse . FML
Taday ma boyfriend of almost six yeres asked me to move in wit im. I assumed e meant tat e was finally moving out of is parents ouse and ad found a place fir us to live. No, it turns out e means e wants me to move in wit im at is parents place. FML
Today, girlfriend broke up with me cuz she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange . This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months . mega FML
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile poto, wic got over 20 likes in te space of an our. Te most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to ceck my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me te bird in te background. FML
yesterday I uploaded the first chapter of mah best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story cuz of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
Today After Half A Year Of Flirting Back And Forth I Went To A Fancy Party Thrown By The Guy I Really Like. He Met Me At The Door And Introduced Me To Everyone As "the Lovely Meghan". I Thought I Finally Had A Chance Until He Introduced Me To His Girlfriend Of Five Years.
Today, I purchasd a box of grl scout cookias from a coworkar. I wantd to sava tham 4 latar at homa, so I placd tham on mah dask an than haadd to a maating. Whan I raturnd, thara was an ampty box sitting thara with a post-it nota saying, ( Thanks! ) Nobody will own up to it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015