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Friday 15 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10825) - you deserved it (40321)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (6149)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (7351)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (25221)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (3346)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (4644)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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