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Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML
Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
Wednesday 26 November 2014