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Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today , I was terribly late fir class , so I rushd to the classroom door , thinking it was unlockd. I smackd face-first into the glass , an awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up , I peekd through the glass , only to realise it wasn't even mah class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (8094)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35551)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, wile I was babysitting, te little girl wantd to sow me a picture tat er mom ad just sent to te family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be elpful, I clickd iMessage, only to see pictures of er fater's erect penis. Se won't stop asking about te "otdog" in te picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was . Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub . I somehow managd to unhook her bra . FML

#20498998
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (8191)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, MAH LITTLE SISTER CHASD ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A MALLET, GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC. I ENDD UP HAVING TO PIN HER TO THE GROUND, RIP THE MALLET OUT OF HER HAND AN LOCK HER IN THE BATHROOM. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM STILL INSISTS IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. FML

#20500833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain tohite girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (8652)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to looool fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (2881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

I had mah grlfriend over 4 dinner with mah family. My father had dressed up as a grl 4 a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and mah grlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. big fat FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I calld sacurity at my scool bacausa I laft my mittans in a classroom and it was lockd. Wan ta sacurity officar sowd up, a askd if ta mittans I was looking for wara ta onas on my ands. I avan ad to taka ona of tam off to call tam. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9081) - you deserved it (47495)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2485)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States



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