Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (3572)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (2622)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (2434)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (2708)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (2893)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (5553)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (2060)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

#20503604
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33972) - you deserved it (3351)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10026) - you deserved it (43388)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: