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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34456) - you deserved it (4935)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (4178)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (7061)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12701) - you deserved it (37377)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9658) - you deserved it (49464)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (40803)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (8295)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (2607)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (8607)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (2864)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38077) - you deserved it (5766)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41106) - you deserved it (9800)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)



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