Choose the period

Tuesday 5 February 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

by MyLife / 02/06/2013 at 3:04am / Love

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

by A troubled ex med school student / 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

by must be adopted / 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

by Mattrd / 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm / United States / Health

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

by fish killer / 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

by Turdfoot / 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

by maced face / 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

by toxic waste / 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

by anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

by obsequiousfannyflapper / 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous