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Tuesday 5 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I Got Married On Skyrim . To An Elf . Wile In Real Life , Ma Love Life Is Floundering Like A Alf-dead Carp In Te Surf On A Ot Day . So Muc So In Fact Tat I Actually Draw A Measure Of Comfort From Being Married To An Elf . FML

#20501864
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (9630)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I hurt mah backhila axarcising. I can't band ovar or lift mah arms abova mah haad without intansa pain. My husband, howavar, finds mah situation hilariou an has movad avarything I usa fraquantly to aithar tha floor or high shalf. Ha giggla avary tima I try to ratriava anything. FML

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Yesterday... my boyfriend called me a freak 4 wanting to ave sex 4 a second nigt in a row. looool FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today , I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant . The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter , and I thought they were fir me . I ate one and a lady came over screaming . Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony . FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (16811)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow!! He's 22!! FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (8201)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over !! Things got intimate, and I trid my hardest to make too much noise !! However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we hered my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking" !! FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (40695)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, mah fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make mah boobs larger . It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again . fat FML

#20499439
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (6128)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to do my laundry . Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase an headd to the basement . When my roommate saw me, she burst into teres with happiness . FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (5198)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. mega FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (6187)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today , I found out mah mother has enough toys to open a sex shop . real FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, ( Hey, that's mine! ) I got several drty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (50532)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY I POINTD OUT TO MAH BOYFRIEND HOW VALENTINE'S DAY, MAH BIRTHDAY, AN OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WERE ALL COMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HE THEN PROMPTLY BROKE UP WITH ME. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (8219)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States



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