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By unmarried / Wednesday 4 May 2016 00:39 / Canada - Weston
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By  laurellkawes  |  27

I can't feel sorry for you because you knew he was still legally married, yet you planned your own wedding to him. The smart thing would have been to wait until his divorce was final, especially since you know him and know he's a procrastinator

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  lynnlady  |  6

This is the best way around it. I was almost in a similar position because my ex husband screwed up the paperwork on his end. My new husband and I were ready to sign the papers later if need be because we knew we were cutting it close with the wedding date.

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  MandieL  |  27

You could also cancel the officiant, get a friend to do the "ceremony" have a party, then go to city hall the next day. Unless you're in a church where and don't have a choice for your officiant.

By  laurellkawes  |  27

I can't feel sorry for you because you knew he was still legally married, yet you planned your own wedding to him. The smart thing would have been to wait until his divorce was final, especially since you know him and know he's a procrastinator

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  mariri9206  |  32

I agree with #6. Should have waited until you heard about the divorce being finalized before setting a wedding date.

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  MamaChey  |  17

Well played fairyjoshie! Said with much more tact than I would have, for sure. It really grinds my nerves when pompous judgmental D-bags spew their tirades as if their shit don't stink...

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  mrsmikelowrey  |  15

You don't know how things worked out with his first marriage. His wife and he could have been living separately for a couple of years before he (or the wife) decided to follow through with the divorce papers. OR it was a contested divorce which takes however long the contesting party wants to draw it out.

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  Colon_Man  |  17

My wife and I were separated for three years before I found out she got knocked up by some dude and I raced my ass down to the court house to file divorce. I was in it for the tax break after she left.

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  OverFlash  |  15

Exactly. My parents separated when I was 8, but never felt the need to officially divorce until I was about 16, and my dad decided to remarry (might have been done sooner if same-sex marriage was legal, as my mum was in a committed same-sex relationship for 5 years at that point). Not every marriage needs a divorce straight up, they might still keep the legal stuff for the sake of the kids (at least, my guess), or just not care enough, if they still get along (in my case, it's probably obvious that my dad simply didn't resent my mum for coming out as a lesbian).

By  whynot159  |  9

You should date someone for atleast two years before deciding on something like marriage. If it took him that long to sign papers then that's certainly procrastinating and he's probably not a guy you would want to depend on. If not....good luck! ?

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  mariri9206  |  32

My parents separated when I was three and didn't get their divorced finalized until I was, like, nine because my dad dragged it out when it came to custody and alimony. Divorce can take a long time, even if you're on good terms with the person, and it's entirely possible that OP started dating her fiancé after he separated from his wife.

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