Wednesday 30 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16356) - you deserved it (24031)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (1695)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (1680)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (12117)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15491) - you deserved it (3442)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (2067)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (16678)
On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (3843)
On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (1486)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (2896)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)
Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (1104)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (1113)
On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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