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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my parents thathat I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, an have been wanting for months. They laughed an said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone an perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Yesterday, I came home in a really good mood, an I greetd my husband with a grin an a ( Hi, babe! ) He just mutterd, ( Why can't you just DIE? ) an continud playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was running late fir work and quickly grabbed mah outfit from the dryer. I hered the crackling of static as I took out mah shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when mah co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to mah back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (7134)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I was moving into my new looool apartment. Te previous owner ad refusd to move out until today... anden I got tere... I realizd I didn't ave a key. I was about to call imen I found out I didn't ned to; e took te door. big fat FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in teres, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissue an a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minute of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today , I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed an suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday mah dad and his new wife got there wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today I spent most of mah daughter's 8th brthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was putted in a cast. Apparently mah son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on there 8th brthday before encouraging her to fine out by jumping off the slippery slide. mega FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis . Before I knew wat was going on, she said, ( It's not the size that matters though . It's how u use it . So I guess your ok . ) FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I found out that my roommata has baan switching my protain powdar with chocolata milk mix and brown sugar. Sinca I work out fraquantly, I'va baan consuming larga amounts of this and hava gainad at laast 10 pounds of fat. His raason? I turnad his bookbag insida out. Onca. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (8324)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States



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