Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Taday my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me looool into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I trippd while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reachd out and grabbd onto one of the guys walking up. I endd up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgustd glares as I dustd myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (7136)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 5-year-old nepew ad te most amazing idea: to play a game wit my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and id tem around te ouse. So far it's been two ours and I aven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my parents thathat I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, an have been wanting for months. They laughed an said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone an perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today... I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia... she smild and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughd. FML

Today... I was moving into my new looool apartment. Te previous owner ad refusd to move out until today... anden I got tere... I realizd I didn't ave a key. I was about to call imen I found out I didn't ned to; e took te door. big fat FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 yeres old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Taday whila raading in tha bath I accidantally switchd tha showar on. Not wanting mah book to gat soakd I thraw it out of tha tub. Whan I got out of tha tub latar I found it had landd squaraly in tha toilat. FML

#20479000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (11373)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, at mah cousin's birthday party, mah grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that looool tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. real FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today , I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed an suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: