Choose the period

Saturday 19 January 2013

Choose a category


Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

by musicalrose_21 / 01/20/2013 at 7:27am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

by heartbroken / 01/23/2013 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

by Kasey103 / 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Hawaii) / Health

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

by ChubbyButt / 01/16/2013 at 5:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

by sophietr8 / 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

by Stickysituation / 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

by megean c.l. / 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

by StillTooYoung / 01/20/2013 at 8:13am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

by jakeeey / 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy