Saturday 19 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (3623)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (2534)
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (1791)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (2608)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2595)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (6448)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (2309)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6922)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (6692)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (3728)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (1875)
Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1177)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (1943)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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