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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (8914)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (3180)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (2966)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26969) - you deserved it (6376)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4270)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9553) - you deserved it (35373)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36148) - you deserved it (6765)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (8776)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (3264)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)



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