Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (38378)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (6593)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25964) - you deserved it (15518)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (4058)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (1996)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

#20471100
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7445) - you deserved it (35858)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:11am - money - by sorrygranny (woman) - United States

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (26402)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (5529)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (5786)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: