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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

TODAY, I CAUGT MY BOYFRIEND WEREING YOGA PANTS AN TAKING PICTURE OF IS BUTT TO POST ON A ( GRLS IN YOGA PANTS ) SITE. HE SAW MY EXPRESSION AN SAID, ( NA, IT'S COOL, I ID MY JUNK SO TEY'LL TINK IT'S A CICK! ) FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (8974)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

my dad was elping me move stuff out. I'd askd boyfriend to deal wit sex toys and lingerie, but still dad sowd up later at new place, andd me a box full of tem all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (36566)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today.. . I took my grandma tohat I thought was a nice movie . An actor usd the word "cunt"...hich promptd her to askhat that word meant in a loud "whisper" . She followd up even more loudly with.. . "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today , while having sex with mah boyfriend , he reachd out onto mah dressing table to grab the lube. He missd , an found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML

#20445879
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today,ile reading an erotic story I was more excitd tat te autor usd a conjunctive adverb tan te sexual content in te story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (11432)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today , I told ma mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luter King Jr. day. Se ten insisted tat I ad to go to scool because tat is "only 4 black people." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)



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