Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (5382)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (14135)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (5787)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (1977)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3071)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (5307)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (59508)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (35442)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15977) - you deserved it (32131)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (6133)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: