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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (60162)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (4642)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (36065)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (32225)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (3034)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (6144)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (8130)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (7770)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (9565)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11982) - you deserved it (34664)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (2538)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (4884)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (6445)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)



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