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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12309) - you deserved it (35290)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (7474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17731) - you deserved it (32296)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (2559)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32385) - you deserved it (6220)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (9791)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (8909)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (3477)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (4791)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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