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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (3559)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (10304)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15517) - you deserved it (9714)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

#20443892
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11613) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (7094)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (1123)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (6235)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (4155)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15948) - you deserved it (28339)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML

#20457723
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (6433)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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