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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (8062)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (9390)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (4525)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (34086)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (2418)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (4880)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (8900)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (6593)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (2552)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1855)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)



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